[	mood	|	sad	]
[	music	|	Just some tunes ....	]

It is a night like any other and Ciana is sitting at home on her computer all by herself thinking about the past and the people she misses from back home. She misses the way she used to be with her friends especially one, Missy, lets call her that. That was her best friend since grade 4, she cut her head open on a desk and then they became friends. She was kinda scared though because she thought Missy was going to beat her up, but they both weren’t that popular. Then Ciana graduated from high school and Missy failed a course that made her stay back for another half a year. Ciana started to go to college and got a part-time job, the same college Missy was supposed to go to with her. They slowly drifted apart, and lost touch. As soon as Ciana turned 19 a few months ago her weekends consist of going out to the bars with her friends and boyfriend. They had a going out, a big one, a huge fight. It was horrible; completely horrible. They talked for hours on the internet about everything and Missy called her down to the lowest and they then called themselves in a fight. They started talking again but things are never going to be the same again.
 There’s this other friend she misses, lets just say her name is Jill, and they didn’t talk until Ciana hit grade 12 and an unfortunate thing happened to Jill in Quebec. Jill had sex with one of her friend’s ex-boyfriend’s. OOPS! She called Ciana one night crying and was all upset with what she done because you see she had a boyfriend down here. Jill asked Ciana if she wanted a drive to school the next morning and Ciana, being the friend she is accepted, it beated taking the bus. No she was there for her long lost friend, that she lost touch with throughout junior high and high school. They talk once in a while, she has her life with her boyfriend, the guy from Quebec (excellent choice cuz he is a good guy and she deserves someone like that) and everything in general. Ciana misses the way Jill and Jill’s boyfriend would hang out with these two awesome guys, lets give their real names, Jeremy and Shamus. She misses them bunches, they were so funny, getting drunk and getting stoned almost every weekend.
 She misses the way she used to talk to her best guy friend, let’s say his name was James on the phone every night for hours on end, about nothing at all. Like Missy they lost touch, but throughout high school. They gradually talk once in a blue moon, but nothing like they used to throughout high school. Ciana always liked this boy, James more than a friend for the longest time and then one night she had enough, she couldn’t take no more and told him over the net that she liked him more than a friend. He then said he knew that and asked her to go to a movie with him. So they went to the movie, the movie she doesn’t remember but it was something special and it meant something to her, but nothing to him. After that night, nothing else was said about the whole night, she poured her feelings out on a silver plate for him to shoot her down or take to, become official. But then she wouldn’t have meant her boyfriend that she has now, Junior, ya that’s his name.
 They met on New Years 2003 through one of Ciana’s friends, Monica, ok that’s a good name. Monica took Ciana to a New Years Eve party in Woodbine, what a fun time. Ciana felt something for never felt before for a guy, she felt the connection right away. Right away, he hit her like a ton of bricks. A BIG TON OF BRICKS! They kissed New Years night and then started talking on the phone. They had a falling out, Ciana and Junior did, and he chose some girl over her. That hurt Ciana a lot and she cried, within months this guy had this much of a hold on her, a big one. Then the girl Junior picked over Ciana didn’t work out and then they started talking again. But once they saw each other nothing really changed. They still kissed and acted like a couple would. They finally went out, but Ciana doesn’t recall the first time they went out (well the date anyways). Junior got into a little trouble down here with the bank and had to go away with his step sister to Yartmouth. That ended their relationship right then and there. Ciana cried for days, cried herself to sleep. They didn’t talk for a couple of months, and started talking again in June or July and he told her he wanted her back and blah, blah, blah. Ciana feel for it until one night she showed up at his house with her friends’ cuz they were supposed to do something, they all ended up going to a party and Ciana found out he was “seeing” someone else while telling sweet nothings in Ciana’s ears. Right then and there when she walked in he picked Ciana over that other girl. This was last November. YES! SCORE POINTS FOR CIANA! That’s where it started, they started their “SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.” It started off quite rocky and they slowly worked things out together, slowly but surely. The problem was that Ciana felt more for Junior than Junior did for her. But on New Years of 2004 he said the three words “I LOVE YOU” the words Ciana wanted to hear for so damn long.
 It’s been a year for Ciana and Junior and there’re doing awesome. They have their fights and their misunderstandings all the damn time, but it doesn’t change the way she feels for him. She loves him to death and he loves her no matter how bitchy she becomes. He bought her a promise ring and has boughten her roses, ROMANTIC! It may not be much but it’s enough for her, no matter what anyone says. 

 So the only reason why I am writing this is to tell a few people out there that they mean a lot of me no matter how long we don’t keep in touch. Well “junior” aka Jason knows how I feel about him but I think my friends don’t. They know who they are if they read this. Just remember girls, I love yous so much and that’s never going to change. I miss yous so much and things will get better soon, PROMISE! Well I can’t promise but I will try to call more.

[

mood

|

chipper

]

i got a new kitty!!!! :D she's so damn cute. her name is Ginx and she's a BIG BIG sooky. she cries all de time and i can barely get sleep. she woke me up yesterday at 6:30, but we stayed in bed until 8. JOY JOY! she has this thing she does when she's hungry, she'll suck and EVEN bite your finger and you gotta take her to her dish and if she needs to use the bathroom you needa go wit her. its insane! she's only a baby, 6 weeks old. lol. she's a calico kitty and is damn adorable. MINUS de waking up in the morning, she's worse than a baby. makes me not wanna have kids.
this weekend betta be fun. well tonight wont, cuz i work until close at Zellars. BLAH! i hate it so damn much, but its money. tomorrow i work from 2-6 which isnt bad and then i think jason is coming to pick me up from work and take me out to his house. we getta try out his new bed ;) hehehehe!
jason took me to get my kitty wednesday, i was quite excited that he actually took me over to Dartmouth and he even took my mother grocery shoppin on monday. i as well went shopping. bought some new shirts, a new pair of sneakers and ALOT of kitty stuff.
i find myself smoking more and more these last few weeks and i dont know why. i normally dont smoke that much. i've been through 3 packs of smokes within two weeks. :0 lordy.
i cant wait until next weekend, HALLOWEEN PARTY at john's house! gotta dress up. i got my costume, a nice plaid skirt with a white button up shirt with hooker boots. jason will be drooling.
i have a mid-term today, ouchie. hopefully it will be okay, i think i will do fine, its just alot of numbers. i gets a headache.
well ta ta for now, may write a bit lata. peace out....a town (thats for my girl nicole)